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WELCOME TO MR FISHER'S CLASS

We had a kahoot!

10/15/2018

 
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In the morning, we had gymnastics. It is really amazing to watch how all of you have improved your flexibility, balance, and acrobatic abilities. Gymnastics was followed by students getting specific teacher feedback on their fitness goals and revising them to make improvements! The principles of learning at work!! Fitness goals are now posted in Fresh Grade and students are to start right away. Make sure you log your fitness goal workouts on the sheet and have it verified by an adult.    We had a big 'KA-HOOT' after recess!  We started the read aloud with a fun activity that helped the students think and review the different characters from Amal Unbound!  It was interesting to see how energetic everyone was while they were thinking about their responses.  Learning is always fun and #TheLearningNeverStops!
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IMPORTANT: Wear clothing/shoes you don't mind getting paint on tomorrow.  We will be doing our Jackson Pollock Action Splatter Painting in the morning.

1.) MATH:
  • Click here to watch a review video on finding GCF (greatest common factor) and LCM (lowest common multiple) using the Prime Factorization of two numbers
2) POST A RESPONSE:
  • Write another paragraph for your Alphabiography and post it here for your PAR
  • Use the criteria for powerful personal writing posted below to give another student some peer feedback on their writing.
  • Edit and revise your work based on the feedback you receive!

VDEO LINK
GCF 7 LCM                                                                                                                                                            #thelearningneverstops
***MAKE SURE YOU EDIT YOUR WORK BEFORE YOU POST IT!****

****ALL SENTENCES MUST START WITH CAPITAL LETERS AND HAVE PERIODS.*** 

***READ YOUR WORK OUT LOUD BEFORE YOU POST IT HERE!!!***
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Kaden
10/15/2018 04:39:54 pm

first

Joseph
10/15/2018 04:46:08 pm

Second.

Joseph
10/15/2018 05:31:33 pm

Looks like I missed a lot of fun activities today. What a bad day to be sick :(

B- A Dead Bird

I woke up one hot summer day last year, earlier then I normally did on Saturdays. Some noise had disturbed me from my sleep; a steady "Bzzzzzz" sound came from outside. I opened the curtains, and looked. A dark mass of something was covering a portion of our porch! I squinted at it… but I could not make out what it was.

Quickly dressing, I made my way downstairs. An awful smell, which I now recognize as the smell of a dead carcass, became more distinct as I made my way closer to our porch. It was overpowering. I opened the door - and almost fainted. A large cloud of flies hovered over a carcass. The cloud of flies was so thick that even at this close range, I could barely make out the dead bird body which had fallen on our backyard.

Awakened by all the noise, from me and from the insects, my parents came downstairs as well. They, too, were horrified to see the cloud of insects crowding around the dead bird. It was then that the smell hit me.

I had mentioned the overpowering scent of the rotting bird, and the countless insects around it. But having recovered from my shock, which had shielded it from the full extent of my nose… the smell set it. The smell of a dead body is overpowering. It is indescribable. Looking back, it might be best described as a mix of garbage left out in the sun, or a dumpster, or possibly a piece of very bad cheese.

My parents and I were so distracted by the shock of it all - the smell, the rotting body of the bird, and the insects hovering around it, that we forgot what to do until my dad snapped us out of our shock. "Right, we have to get this bird off our porch."

I am not really sure what happened next, except that the bird was off of our porch in the next few minutes. Did I really want to know? A few of the flies remained for quite a while, even after the dead bird was removed. And of course, there is a hole on our wooden porch where the bird dropped from the sky. It serves as an interesting reminder to the day I found a dead bird on my porch.

-Joseph

Mr.Fisher
10/15/2018 05:37:40 pm

Thanks for doing your PAR even though you are sick. Rest up and get well. We hope to see you back at school soon.

Ester
10/15/2018 06:41:36 pm

You should add more visual details Joseph!

Joseph
10/16/2018 05:59:59 pm

EDIT: 10/16/18
Additions to make it more descriptive, some changes of words to be more fitting, overall a lengthening of the writing.

I woke up one hot summer day last year, earlier then I normally did on Saturdays. Some noise had disturbed me from my sleep; a steady "Buzzzzzz" sound came from outside. I threw open the curtains, and looked. A dark mass of something was covering a portion of our porch! I squinted at it… but I could not make out what it was.

Quickly dressing, I made my way downstairs. An awful smell, which I now recognize as the smell of a dead carcass, became more distinct as I made my way closer to our porch. It was overpowering. I opened the door - and almost fainted. A large cloud of flies hovered over a carcass, almost like a black cloud of death. In fact, it could be described as exactly that, if you knew the facts afterwards. The cloud of flies was so thick that even at this close range, I could barely make out the dead bird body which had fallen on our backyard. It may have been a blessing in disguise, as the flies prevented me from seeing all the horrific insides of a carcass. The little that I did see made me want to gag.

Awakened by all the noise, from me and from the insects, my parents came downstairs as well. They, too, were horrified to see the cloud of insects crowding around the dead bird. It was then that the smell hit me.

I had mentioned the overpowering scent of the rotting bird, and the countless insects around it. But having recovered from my shock, which had shielded it from the full extent of my nose… the smell set it. The smell of a dead body is overpowering. It is indescribable. Looking back, it might be best described as a mix of garbage left out in the sun, or a dumpster, or possibly a piece of very bad cheese.

My parents and I were so distracted by the shock of it all - the smell, the rotting body of the bird, and the insects hovering around it, that we forgot what to do until my dad snapped us out of our shock. "Right, we have to get this bird off our porch."

I am not really sure what happened next, except that the dead bird and most of the insects were off our porch in the next few minutes. Did I really want to know? Who really needed to know the fate of a half-intact bird, with all of its insides out for the world to see? I didn't, that's for sure. A few of the flies remained for quite a while, even after the dead bird was removed, lingering like an aftertaste. And of course, there is a hole on our wooden porch where the bird dropped from the sky, that summer day. It serves as an interesting reminder to the day I woke up to see a black cloud covering my backyard.

vincent qi
10/15/2018 05:09:59 pm

3rd

vincent qi
10/15/2018 05:13:01 pm

@mr fisher for this sentence you wrote befpre instead of before

"***MAKE SURE YOU EDIT YOUR WORK BEFPRE YOU POST IT!****

Mr. Fisher
10/15/2018 05:40:48 pm

Thank you , Vincent. I guess I better follow my own advice and read my work BEFORE I post it!

Nathan
10/15/2018 05:31:26 pm

5

vincent qi
10/15/2018 05:36:40 pm

you are 4th

vincent qi
10/15/2018 05:35:58 pm

______The scientific symbol for Pi, was first introduced in Greece, by Archimedes. Pi is a string of numbers that continue infinitively. I started by memorizing the first eight letters of Pi (3.1415926) due to math class back at Burnaby. Then I started memorising more, trying to beat my friend. However, after memorising more than ten letters of Pi, I had only realised that my friend, Kevin Zhang, was over fifty letters. Then I started memorising four letters everyday. Increasingly, i went over one hundred digit of Pi. I stated to do this in talent shows, and show off my skill. Over time, I forgot some of the digit, making me only up to 76 digits ( I tested myself at 2018-10-15).

Sarah
10/15/2018 08:23:18 pm

good paragraph, you should add a title.

vincent qi
10/15/2018 08:58:54 pm

i do its just not on there

David
10/15/2018 09:23:44 pm

Good job Vincent
I like how you showed us that if you practice you could do anything in the world, even memorizing the first one hundred digits of pi.

However, try to use more interesting vocab words. You want to be able to make your writing interesting to read.

Jorge
10/15/2018 05:48:58 pm

5th

Jorge
10/15/2018 05:58:24 pm

Mr. Fisher, I am cooking KALE CHIPS!!!!!

Mr. Fisher
10/15/2018 07:01:40 pm

That is fantastic, Jorge!!!!

Jorge
10/15/2018 06:06:34 pm

Kale chips are extremely delicious, with all of the flavor combinations it makes a delicious and healthy snack, the onion powder and garlic powder gives them a nice soft flavor and the salt gives a strong flavor so the combination is perfect. Kale Chips make a nice snack to enjoy with family or friends , the kale has some fiber so its healthy.

Sophie
10/16/2018 05:02:26 pm

Good job Jorge! You did a good job explaining kale chips and how they help your body.

I would recommend you to add more to your paragraph. Something other than saying they’re delicous and healthy. Maybe like when you first tried kale chips your first thoughts, or when you first made kale chips. That way it’d be more interesting than “kales chips are delicious”.

Other than that great job!

Mr. Fisher
10/16/2018 05:38:56 pm

This is great peer feedback Sophie! Thank you:)

Jorge
10/20/2018 09:02:14 am

Paragraph

Dogzilla
Dogzilla is a dog I used to encounter back in Bora Bora in not the most friendly circumstances. One day I was building a huge sand city on the beach, it had crabs as citizens, it had a pool, houses, a playground and a royal palace. So when I went to get lunch I saw a dog coming towards my beautiful city , as the dog went closer it started decreasing it's speed until it finally stopped and just when I thought that everything was going to be OK, it wasn't, the dog started digging a hole in the royal palace and then it started to destroy everything until there was no sight of the city anymore and that's when the dog earned a name that I would never forget. . . Dogzilla! As the days went by I always tried to build a Dogzilla proof city or fort, I never could because Dogzilla was too powerful.

Jorge
10/20/2018 09:04:18 am

Correction

Kale chips are really good , with all of the flavor combinations it makes a delicious and healthy snack, the onion powder and garlic powder gives them a nice soft flavor and the salt gives a strong flavor so the combination is perfect. Kale Chips make a nice snack to enjoy with family or friends. Making kale chips is very easy, the hardest part is making sure that the kale is as dry as possible because if it isnt ,the kale chips won't dry completely and if they are placed in the oven for more time then they might burn.

nick volokh
10/15/2018 06:33:16 pm

Window problems
I woke up and wanted to go play some games on my computer. Booted it up it turned on And typed in my password. I was going to go to google but then my computer said error. I got so mad I got my laptop plugged it in the computer and went searching for the problem using coding it was very tricky but I finally found what it was. Then ii disconnect my laptop from the computer and felt relived that it worked. But out of no where my computer starts making a very loud noise. Then I grab my computer flip it around and start looking where is the noise coming from. Turns out it was my cooling fan that was all covered with dust. But if I had an apple computer this would have never happened because apple does not have a cooling fan they have a jell like substance in there that circulates through the computer to cool it. Another thing if my computer was an apple computer it would have not logged out when I was opening google because apple computers even the old ones never crash because of apple special thing called iCloud. Btw I am not sponsored to say this. But I personally think that windows is very slow and very expensive. But not all the problems are finished. Then my computer turns off and says low battery when I know it is fully charged this time I turn to the pros or so I thought. I went to Best buy Geek Squad. Apparently these geeks did not know a thing about fixing computer battery’s . instead they broke my keyboard and my battery even more. I was so mad I wanted to make them get me a new computer. But the error with best buy was not over. They said they would fix all the damages they done so im like good. But no no. I get my computer back from them. Now the battery is not even for the right computer. The end
This is why I hate buying things from best buy and why I hate windows

Kheyria
10/15/2018 06:44:29 pm

Check your grammar before you post it Nicolas. Not sure how to spell your name. Also, try to separate your writing into paragraphs.

Sarah
10/15/2018 08:19:20 pm

Good job. You should do a spell check.

Ester
10/15/2018 06:38:07 pm

Directing is one of my favourite career choice. I love the idea of film making and making my own story. I like making and imagining stories in my head. I love mystery thrillers and love stories. I always liked that kind of story of two people falling in love, but has a complicated relationship between them. Like parents who disagrees with the relationship. A murder mystery that could lead one of them in jail.

Stories with unexpected twist and turns are my most favourite. I was liked the feeling of making something on my own and being successful at the end. I don’t like movies that are about the future and technology. Super high tech cars with superheroes with vibranuim as the source of material to make the their suit. Marvel is one of the examples. I don't necessarily dislike Marvel, I actually quite like their movies, it's just not a movie I can see myself making.



One of my favourite movies of all time is The Theory Of Everything. It's about Steven Hawking and his life. I swear with my life I have cried during that movie. It was so touching, real, it almost felt like I was there. His children's laughter fills the room. The sadness is so real and so vivid to me. The director of that movie is James Marsh. His style of filming is so fascinating. The actors were so amazing. My favourite was Eddie Redmayne who played Steven in the movie. His acting skills was so on point, I thought he could be the actual Steven Hawking of that time. That brings me to the topic of acting.

Actually feeling the emotion of what that person could've felt at that moment is calming, thrilling and sad feeling. Even though its pretending, when you feel the way someone else feels, you understand more what they are going through. Its feels the same when you are directing it and acting it. When you're behind the camera and glazing at what's happening, you start to feel how they feel. It is always a warm feeling or a very exciting feeling. Take horror films. Horror films are fun to watch. The adrenaline you get from the jump scares and creepy noises is overwhelming.



Writing is quite complex when you first hear it, but when you just write and write about something for yourself, it just becomes your secret world away from the real world. I don't personally write the stories I think about and I would like to I just don’t have the time and materials to do so sometimes. What I would do is to listen to calm music, alone in a room filled with memories I have made. There, I lay down on my bed staring at the wall imagining stores that interest me. The story depends on what I feel that day. I could feel the sad, happy, scared, angry and so on. I also get inspirations form watching movies. Sometimes I would imagine the characters if I made the film/series. Thinking of all the possibilities is fascinating.

Lucas
10/15/2018 07:54:18 pm

Air Transat to London:

When I woke up, I had barely slept. I just couldn’t believe the day was finally here, I had waited 6 months and it was finally the day we were going to London. I knew we had to fly 9 hours on Air Transat and flying on planes is a thing I don’t really enjoy. Our flight was boarding right after we checked in so I didn’t do much at the airport. We boarded the Air Transat plane and I got an aisle seat beside 2 other people which wasn’t a big deal. We took off and I started to feel sick, 20 minutes later meals were served, the chicken Provençal was good but the pasta served with it was gross.

I tried to go to sleep but I only slept for an hour, I was so exhausted so I tried watching a movie. I watched 2 movies, Early Man and Geostorm. I was just trying to do anything to entertain me so I tried looking at pictures, travel guides and even brochures. After 9 long hours of flying of Air Transat we had finally made it to London, and we were going to start an amazing trip.

Nick
10/16/2018 05:16:55 pm

Nice Lucas. You met all th criteria goals.

Lucas
10/16/2018 05:33:06 pm

OH REALLY! Thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!

David
10/15/2018 07:55:55 pm

The frantic pedestrian

One day, when I was about 10 years old, I did a project all about universities and none all of the stuff on the internet made sense to me. Luckily, my sister was in the prestigious University of British Columbia and on her last course. My parents decided to take matters into their own hands and actually planned to take me to the university.

Since the university is pretty far, we decided to take the subway to UBC. As usual, we got our tickets from the ticket man and inserted it into a grey machine. The machine rumbled, sputtered, and shook before opening its metal bars.
Since this was my first time ever going on subway, I was fascinated by everything in the entire system. I loved how the subway would roar down the tracks, and then puff out steam as if to sigh. I really enjoyed the entire experience of the subway system. I was intrigued by the subway itself because I thought that it looked a lot like a metal snake.

Everything was going normal so far, and nothing queer or strange was going on or happening. My parents and I got on the subway and we took our seats. Before long, the metal giant roared into action and spurred at high speeds into the awaiting gloom. A heavy silence lay down on the train, only to be penetrated by the occasional rustle of bags or a cough.

After a few minutes or so, the train began to slow down before aligning with the outside doors and lurching to a complete stop. A stream of passengers began to file in while another stream of passengers began to file out. In that stream of passengers however, a young dishevelled man hurried inside just before the door closed.

The young man, aged at about 21, was wearing a crumpled a suit or a tie. He had sweat pouring down his face and he had quick and jerky movements. I could see the sweat just slowly trickling down his neck as he took out his phone from his briefcase. All this time, he was muttering and groaning about being late.

Now you readers would probably wonder, how is that so bad? The man is clearly in a state of being way to busy and he has the right to express his anger and all of that. However, what happened next was just practically unbelievable.

The man who just received a phone call from someone, and after listening to the speaker speak on the other end of the phone immediately started to scream into the speaker phone. In fact, it was so sudden that an old lady promptly fell off the bench that she was sleeping and luckily landed on her side.

The young man, taking absolutely no notice in practically anything in the world other than that phone call kept on screaming his head off. He got so mad that he threw his briefcase into the glass window (which is very dangerous) and repeatedly pounded the flimsy walls.
It was at this point when the passengers on this train, including my parents, actually thought that this man was drunk or crazy and we quickly switched to another compartment. However, we could still hear the man yelling, and before long, a baby started wailing.

My parents were going to go crazy if they were going to have to deal with this entire racket the entire ride to UBC. We still had about 12 stops and the baby crying along with the man screaming made a cacophony so bad that we were going to melt into the ground.
Our fellow passenger were also going crazy at the noise and we decided to unite together to teach the young man a lesson.

However, no matter how hard we tried, the young man would just repeatedly ignore us and even yell at us for disturbing his conversation.

At this point, my parents were ready to leave the train and just switch onto a new one when suddenly, an old lady walked through our throng of people and kept on hobbling forward until she was about maybe 5 feet away from the young man.

You could tell that this lady, even though she was old and frail, still had the power to bring a full grown man to his knees with her words. The lady looked like she radiated power through her skin and you could tell that the man was also feeling it because he stopped talking to the other end of the phone.

The woman said that she was an elementary school teacher for over 40 years and she just retired. She would not tolerate any type of bad behaviour from him even if he is an adult. The man, taking the message, left in a hurry at the next stop.

Everyone on the entire train sighed the minute the man walked out. Even the metal snake seemed to lighten up a bit. Soon, in a few minutes time, the train was full of light laughter compared to the mood before the young man came.

I have learned two valuable lessons in that day. One, do not be that person that ruins everyone else’s peace and two; old people have much more potential than you think they do.

Mountain
10/15/2018 09:47:27 pm

A couple or mistake here and there but otherwise, good job!
However (just my opinion) try to shorten your story a little next time David.

Tom
10/15/2018 09:51:57 pm

David I think your paragraph is really good and I really like it

David
10/16/2018 11:50:22 am

Thx tom

Tom
10/16/2018 08:00:59 am

David I really liked your paragraph and it’s really good

Joseph
10/16/2018 04:45:44 pm

Good job!
As others have said before me, there were a few grammar mistakes and you could have shortened it, but it was an excellent and intriguing story.

David
10/16/2018 09:11:27 pm

A different writing piece

There are many qualities that I believe describe a exceptional student. For example; honesty, perseverance, willingness, leadership, and many more.

It is important to know that you don't have to know everything or get straight A's on your report card to be an exceptional student. I mean, it is obviously amazing if you get a good report card, but that doesn't define a good student at all.

A good student is person who is honest by all means and can control him/herself.

A good student is one that never gives up even through the hardest of times and fights through it with a smile on his/her face.

A good student is one that is willing to learn and shows up to class with enthusiasm.

A good student is one that has the leadership abilities and enjoys working together to improve each other.

A good student is compassionate of his or her classmates.

Those abilities are the basics of what a good student should have.

David
10/17/2018 08:37:23 pm

Revised Edition

The frantic pedestrian

Since this was my first time ever going on subway, I was fascinated by everything in the entire system. I loved how the subway would roar down the tracks, and then puff out steam as if to sigh. I really enjoyed the entire experience of the subway system. I was intrigued by the subway itself because I thought that it looked a lot like a metal snake.

When I was in grade three, I my parents and I took the subway to downtown to watch a concert there. We got on the subway and took our seats before the train began to roar down the tracks.
After a few minutes or so, the train began to slow down before aligning with the outside doors and lurching to a complete stop. A stream of passengers began to file in while another stream of passengers began to file out. In that stream of passengers however, a young dishevelled man hurried inside just before the door closed.

The young man, aged at about the early 20’s, was wearing a crumpled a suit or a tie. He had sweat pouring down his face and he had quick and jerky movements. I could see the sweat just slowly trickling down his neck as he took out his phone from his briefcase. All this time, he was muttering and groaning about being late.

The man who just received a phone call from someone, and after listening to the speaker speak on the other end of the phone, he immediately started to scream into the speaker phone. In fact, it was so sudden that an old lady next to me promptly fell off the bench that she was snoozing on and luckily landed on her side.

The young man, taking absolutely no notice in practically anything in the world other than that phone call kept on screaming his head off. He got so mad that he threw his briefcase into the glass window (which is very dangerous) and repeatedly pounded the flimsy walls.

It was at this point when the passengers on this train, including my parents, actually thought that this man was drunk or crazy and we quickly switched to another compartment. However, we could still hear the man yelling, and before long, a baby started wailing.

I was getting a migraine from all of the rackets and I thought that I wouldn’t survive the day if this cacophony went on and on without ever stopping.

Our fellow passenger were also going crazy at the noise and we decided to unite together to teach the young man a lesson. However, no matter how hard we tried, the young man would just repeatedly ignore us and even yell at us for disturbing his conversation.

We tried to plead at the young man, but he did not listen at all. We tried to force him into submission, but he took our demands with a grain of salt. We even tried to bribe him, but he didn’t even listen to us.

At this point, my parents and the rest of the passengers were ready boycott the train when suddenly, an old lady walked through our throng of people and kept on hobbling forward until she was about maybe 5 feet away from the young man.

You could tell that this lady, even though she was old and frail, still had the power to bring a full grown man to his knees with her words. The lady looked like she radiated power through her skin and you could tell that the man was also feeling it because he stopped talking to the other end of the phone.

The woman said that she was an elementary school teacher for over 40 years and she just retired. She would not tolerate any type of bad behaviour from him even if he is an adult. The man, taking the message, left in a hurry at the next stop.

Everyone on the entire train sighed the minute the man walked out. Even the metal snake seemed to lighten up a bit. Soon, in a few minutes time, the train was full of light laughter compared to the mood before the young man came.

I have learned two valuable lessons in that day. One, do not be that person that ruins everyone else’s peace and two; old people have much more potential than you think they do.

Matthew
10/15/2018 07:57:26 pm

Head Bumps:
Something that kept on happening to me when I was young was my getting knocked or bumped. I'm pretty notorious and infamous in my family because of my head bumps and bruises. There have been several occasions in which I had to go to a doctor and miss school. One example was when I was younger, I was running backwards at a high speed in the tennis court. As a result, I bumped my head into the pole in the tennis court. I felt pain emerging from the back of my head and it was starting to ache. I rustled my hand in my hair and when I pulled it out, I found blood on the palm of my hand. I used my hand and rummaged through my hair again but I couldn't find any. I was confused and mystified by this so I ran to the office to report my problem. When I reached the office, I reported my problem in a sense of confusion but was also scared. She looked in my hair and found blood. Soon, my parents arrived and rushed my into the Children's Hospital. The doctors ran a few tests and told me that they were going to use glue to put head back together. I was relieved. At first I thought that they were going to stich my head back together but they were going to glue, though I felt unsafe. Were they going to use Professional glue or were some glue from Staples. They made me lie down and they were down in an instanst. I relieved and glad that this was all over. I came back to school the next day, but I feel weird when I say that my head was glued but I'm glad it's fixed. The bump on the back of my head is just one of many head injuries I've had.

Ester
10/17/2018 05:33:41 pm

Good job Mathew! But I would like you separate your writing in multiple paragraphs to see more organized writing.

Sophie
10/15/2018 07:57:36 pm

Winter is one of my favourite seasons. I love frolicking around in the snow and having snowball fights. The tennis court's ground gets really icy, which makes it great to "skate" on. The hills also get snowed on, which makes it fun to sled on. Some people who don't have sleds use pieces of cardboard or whatever.

Last year, it snowed a lot. It was fun just throwing the snow around and making snow angels. Snow suits are really comfy, and you only really get to wear them in the winter. Having hot chocolate is also sweet. Sitting by the fireplace is also real nice. I like the cold more than the warm, because in summer you can't really get cooler. But in the cold, you can just add more layers.

During the winter time a lot of movies come out. Such as A Christmas Story, Elf, and my personal favourite Home Alone. I've watched all the home alone movies, and they're all great. I love just sitting in my sweater or pyjamas, with a cup of hot coco in my hand, and watching Christmas movies.

Continuing about the winter time: the best holiday ever, Christmas. Opening presents is so joyful, and decorating the Christmas tree is fun too. (I know that not all cultures celebrate Christmas, but since I only celebrate Christmas that's the only one you'll be hearing from me lol) Also, on December 31st, you get a free pass to stay up till 12am. I mean I do that anyways but now you have a reason!

So many fun things happen in winter, too many to write down. I could say the same about summer, sure, but summer's just hot and boring. Unless you decide to go outside. But if you just stay home alone, it gets really boring after awhile.

Ester
10/17/2018 05:35:22 pm

I feel like some of your paragraphs need more detail. Add you feelings and thoughts, it might add more depth to your writing. Otherwise a great writing piece.

Sophie
10/17/2018 06:15:38 pm


Winter is one of my favourite seasons. I love frolicking around in the snow and having snowball fights. The tennis court's ground gets really icy, which makes it great to "skate" on. The hills also get snowed on, which makes it fun to sled on. Some people who don't have sleds use pieces of cardboard or whatever. *I think it's really fun going down the hills, like when I did it once. It was scary but also pretty fun.*

Last year, it snowed a lot. It was fun just throwing the snow around and making snow angels. Snow suits are really comfy, and you only really get to wear them in the winter. Having hot chocolate is also sweet. Sitting by the fireplace is also real nice. I like the cold more than the warm, because in summer you can't really get cooler. But in the cold, you can just add more layers.

During the winter time a lot of movies come out. Such as A Christmas Story, Elf, and my personal favourite Home Alone. I've watched all the home alone movies, and they're all great. *Home alone is a funny movie, (except I realized there's actually 5 not 4. I've never watched movie 5) and my favourite is either one or two.* I love just sitting in my sweater or pyjamas, with a cup of hot coco in my hand, and watching Christmas movies. *It's just nice and cozy.*

Continuing about the winter time: the best holiday ever, Christmas. Opening presents is so joyful, and decorating the Christmas tree is fun too. *I remember adding ornaments to the tree, and not having an actual "star" for the tree and using an angel instead. I also remember tearing open the wrapping paper and getting excited to see what's inside.*(I know that not all cultures celebrate Christmas, but since I only celebrate Christmas that's the only one you'll be hearing from me lol) Also, on December 31st, you get a free pass to stay up till 12am. I mean I do that anyways but now you have a reason!

So many fun things happen in winter, too many to write down. I could say the same about summer, sure, but summer's just hot and boring. Unless you decide to go outside. But if you just stay home alone, it gets really boring after awhile. Like this year, all I really did was just sit at home and talk to my friends or watch YouTube. Like a couple years ago I went to summer camp! Anyways, going back on topic.

Winter overall is a fun season, and I really like it, Like I said in the beginning there's just so many fun things that happen. Snow, movies, whatever. Winter is cool.

Owen
10/15/2018 08:05:53 pm

PC building
My brother used to build his own custom pc when i am still a very small kids i was curious about the custom build pc, it looks easy, i thought it is like Lego, you out all the parts together than it is done, but now i found out that it was not easy at all.
when i was like 8 years old, my brother build a pc with me(it was actually by him self) and i mess every thing up, my feeling by that time was like, someone told you to do something ans you said i am good at this, it was easy but you mess every thing up.
the hardest part in the pc, i would say it was the cooling system the one that i have was the split water cooling, it was super hard!!(but i actually did nothing).

Krizia
10/15/2018 08:20:36 pm

Owen, try checking your spelling and grammar. But nice job!

jedd
10/15/2018 08:09:23 pm

Word: dogs
So I know most people like dogs and well My grandma's friend had a dog his name was Black. I was always afraid of him since he was so big (for a sense of scale he is about half my size when I last visited him). When I got close to him he would always chase me around the house. My grandma's friend wasn't usually in the Philippines that's why we always went to the house. When she was in the Philippines she would have a gift. Once she gave me an rc car. Black was near the door waiting for me and my mom but Black always went to me and I usually ran because he always scared me. The only thing that made me go outside was the hammock and I loved it. I did like Black near the end of the time I was in the Philippines. When I visited the town again we didn't go to the house because she hired a maid to take care of her house and so we never went their ever again. Also his dead now so I was sad when that happened. Now I'm not really scared of dogs anymore so that's it that’s the story.

Annabelle
10/17/2018 05:09:13 pm

I am sorry to hear about your grandma's friend's dog. Good paragraph.
I think that you should be careful of your run on sentences (which means sentences which consist more than one sentence). Can you explain maybe on why you aren't scared of dogs now?

jedd
10/17/2018 09:57:11 pm

revised v
word:dogs
when I was still in Iloilo my family had to take care of my grandma's friend (i'll call her friend) had a house in the Philippines and she needed someone to take care of it and since my family was living in the friend's house already so we did owe her something. But I liked going to her house. The only thing that i looked forward was the HAMOCK and Black (friend's dog) he was a fun dog and a very energetic and all round fun dog and I was scared of him when I was small. I don't know why I don't get scared it's just that dogs don't scare me anymore. maybe it's because i'm older know and I know that dogs aren't so scare.

Krizia
10/15/2018 08:14:08 pm

Fear About Spiders

One of my biggest fears is spiders. I’ve always been scared of them. I use to believe that we would swallow spiders every night while we’re asleep. Whenever I see one, most of the time I would run out of the room and ask someone to help me. Because I’m too scared of them, my six year old brother has to get rid of them for me. One time, I found two spiders on the corner of room. My brother couldn’t reach them, and I really didn’t want to go near the spiders so I just left them there and left. Later on I came back to see that they disappeared. That night, it took me more than an hour to fall asleep. Also there was another time when I was in the car, when I saw a spider beside me. I started to panic because I wasn’t allowed to take off my seatbelt and move away. So I just sat there leaning as far away as I could from it. Spiders look very creepy to me and I’m afraid that they might just crawl on me.

Sarah
10/15/2018 08:18:33 pm

Camping
This is a story about the time I went camping and it all went horribly wrong. A couple of years ago I went camping with my girl guide troop. I was ten at the time and thought going to camp in October would fun. We took a long ferry to get to the camp and off the top of the ferry we could see the dark storm clouds coming our way. Once we got to camp it was pouring rain and cold, our camp leaders said "everything will be fine because were in a cabin and will have heat." From inside the cabin we could hear the rain beating off the roof and the cracking lightening hitting who knows what. When you looked out the windows you could see four foot waves crashing against the shore. Since we had nothing to do outside we told ghost stories inside. We were all freaked out from telling ghost stories and then just our luck the power went out. One of our leaders went out to go ask the owners why the power went out, and apparently one of the trees fell onto one of the main power lines. We had to walk half an hour in the icy cold rain to get to another camp sight that wasn't affected by the power outage so we could cook dinner. Thankfully, the owners were able to call a power line company and the company was able to come and fix the power line. It took the company six hours for them to get to the camp and fix the power line, and I'm just glad that they were able to fix it. After that night at the stormed passed and we were thankfully able to enjoy the rest of the weekend at camp.

Mountain
10/15/2018 08:32:33 pm

W: When people slap watermelons at grocery stores


As I grew I've become accustom to my parents slapping watermelons. For those who aren't familiar to this, people slap watermelons to 'listen to their sound', to see if they are ripe, bitter, etc. As I grew up I found this more and more annoying, every time I see watermelons I would see many people slapping them and picking through the box of watermelons one by one. I think it's annoying because it's just simply distracting, though I can relate to many wanting the best watermelon out of the bunch, I don't necessary think this is the best way to do so.



I was curious so I wanted to learn and look up answers, some might call this inquiring. As I was scouring around the internet I came across this website that said the slapping or thumping a watermelon and hearing it's 'sounds' actually work. Which surprised me a lot, the website said there are other ways to tell if a watermelon is ripe or not by color, weight and size. But however though slapping or thumping watermelons can determine if a watermelon is ripe or not by its 'round sound', I still find it annoying. Though it's just my opinion I would prefer if some people would do something else to determine if a watermelon is ripe or not because slapping watermelons can really you an odd look!

vincent qi
10/15/2018 08:58:09 pm

Try not to include "etc" in you work. It is informal

David
10/16/2018 06:59:27 pm

@Vincent
Actually, the word "ECT" is neither formal nor non formal.

Kheyria
10/15/2018 09:05:24 pm

Paragraph I: Imagination

I had a wild imagination. . . in my head. To me it was much more easier to do it in my head then having to do certain actions or trying to explain what I'm thinking to someone else. Especially when I slept, having a dream was like having a party in my head for 11 hours. One day, my imagination landed me in trouble, though. It was second grade at my old school, B.C.M.S, and we had been given a writing assignment.
"Today I will give you a topic to write about and you have to write at least one page in full detail" she had said, but I wasn't paying attention.
For my old school I woke up at 7 am every day for school, started learning at 8:15 am, and went home at 3:15 pm. I was at school for 7 hours everyday instead of 6 so you can imagine how tired and exhausted I was as a 7-year-old. Besides, I was too busy imagining what I should write.
"How about dinosaurs? They're pretty cool." I thought as my teacher talked about how we should write our sentences, "Or maybe I could write about the things I love? Like 'My Little Pony'!" And that was it. I wrote 2 pages and a half about friendship, the idea I had gotten from the infamous TV show 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'.
When I got my paper back from the teacher a few days later, she said that I was supposed to write about the topic she had given us and that it was okay I messed up. It was only a practice, which didn't sound so different to me at that age. At least I don't have to worry about getting in trouble, I thought.
The following week we had another writing session, but for real this time. My teacher explained the topic to us and she handed out another sheet of paper that included our topic for writing. This happened after lunch again, so my mind kept wandering off into another world of it's own.
When she gave it to me it looked almost exactly like the one she had given us last time so I figured that I should create my own topic.
My next made-up topic was about family which I thought was important. Writing about that made me feel confident that my teacher would love how much feeling I put into my writing, so I wrote about 3 pages on a topic I wasn't even supposed to write about.
I got my paper back 3 days later and my teacher made me talk to her before recess. She was pretty disappointed that I failed to follow the criteria on the worksheet twice and, of all the things, wasted my time over-writing a topic I wasn't even supposed to write. That resulted in me staying in for every recess of everyday re-writing my paragraphs so that it is related to the topics she had given me.
At that point I was feeling pretty upset that my very important and very detailed writing pieces didn't matter just because I hadn't written about the given topics and that I was being punished for just that. I was so pleased with my writing that she actually made me feel really bad that I had worked so hard on a topic she hadn't chosen for us.
For the next couple of days I was pretty miserable for a second grader. It didn't feel right that she couldn't accept my hard work for one reason and one reason only, although I did ignore her when she was stating the criteria for this certain writing piece. I'm sure if she asked us to write about what was important to us she would have accepted my writing even if it had a lot of punctuation errors. "Which was exactly why she should accept my writing", is what I would've said if I was still in second grade. It still kind of makes sense for her to consider it though even if she was going to say no, don't you agree?

Jedd
10/17/2018 12:12:41 pm

I like what you wrote but I think you can take away a few words (a lot of words) and take Vincent's idea of actually spacing out your paragraph.

vincent qi
10/15/2018 09:13:34 pm

nice work, try to space your work out a bit(like add a spaces between paragraphs)

Tom
10/15/2018 09:46:59 pm

F-Fortnite I started playing Fortnite around January 27, and I’ve played it for a long time. I like playing Fortnite because it’s fun and you can play with all of your friends. Epic Games adds a new item to the game every week.

A few months ago there was a new mode called playground mode, you can do anything you want in it and you get a lot more materials.

I like to play hide and seek with my friends. I also like to other mini games like throwing impulse grenades to made the opponent to fall in a trap.

My gamer tag is (TomTheKillerOMG), and I have 151 wins and around 6000 kills. My favorite Fortnite streamers are SypherPK, Ninja, Tfue, Nick Eh 30 and Dekotaz.

One of the main parts of Fortnite is building, and it takes practice to become a good builder and some people finds it really easy and people finds it really hard to become a good builder. You can change your keybinds for almost everything, most players changes their keybindings.

If you feel comfortable with your keybind then use that keybind, and doesn’t mean if your favourite streamer uses that keybind then it will work for you.

Nathan
10/15/2018 09:57:55 pm

Tom maybe add the objective in a solo game like: The objective is to land somewhere, get kills and place 1st to get the Victory Royale.

Tom
10/16/2018 08:08:14 am

The objective in any game modes is to survive and reach to first place to get a victory royale with high kills. If you want to get a lot of kills go to Tilted Towers, Paradise Palms, Retail Row and Pleasant Park,

When your on the battle bus, the closest places that I mentioned are going to have a lot of people there. If you just want to get a win, then land somewhere passive, and try to land at named spots.

Vivian
10/15/2018 09:50:30 pm

Art-
Art is one of my favorite things to do, it’s one of my hobbies. It’s also something other people do as well.

They’re called “Artists” it’s their job to draw/paint. Some get paid to do it, some are just historical pieces from decades ago. Some pieces have a story behind it and it cost millions.

For example, the “Monna Lisa” it was painted in 1797. So that’s a 221 year old painting right there. In 2017 it was estimated to be a total value of US$810million dollars.

Another example is “Girl with balloon” it was painted in 2002. It was sold a auction early this month on October 6th. It was sold for 1.5 million dollars. When it was finally sold, it self-destruct into lines of paper. Turns out it was planned all along, someone has build a paper shredder in the frame. It shredded a beautiful piece of art into pieces of paper. So sad :(

Annabelle
10/15/2018 11:00:18 pm

Would you explain more about why you like art?

Vivian
10/17/2018 07:44:59 pm

Thanks Annabelle

Nathan
10/15/2018 09:53:30 pm

Halloween is one of the most exciting holidays of the year. My Halloween experiences have been wonderful. With Halloween coming soon I thought that writing a paragraph on my top 5 favourite costumes.



First, Harry Potter. One of the most interesting and exciting book series is Harry Potter. If you haven't read the books that's okay but if you haven't read the books nor watched the movie then your living under a rock. I decided to be Harry Potter because I happened to be reading to the books during Halloween. I used to absolutely love Harry Potter but I don’t like it as much anymore. The costume made you feel like you were in Hogwarts instead of Laurier. Overall I think that my costume was pretty original and cool.



My second favourite costume was my creepy Jester costume. The Jester costume was my first scary Halloween costume. Everyone said it was really cool including the teachers. One thing that I really liked about that costume was that nobody knew who I was until I took off my mask. Its face had a huge creepy smile on it. The diamond patterning was super detailed on the costume. When I went trick or treating I got many compliments. I even scared someone. In the end I thought that that costume was a frightening costume.



In my third spot is my Winnie the pooh costume. I had just turned two that year and my mom had gotten me my costume. When it arrived I was super happy and excited to try it on. It was the second cutest costume I had ever worn. The front said pooh and it came with a jar of honey (fake of course). I don’t remember trick or treating because I was too little but the photos of me were really cute. Overall I think that the Winnie the pooh costume is one of the cutest costumes to wear on Halloween.



In number four I have my cutest costume ever, a monkey. When I was one I was a monkey with my sister. I don’t remember much but the photos of me and my sister were really cute and I loved how simple but awesome it was. That year I didn’t remember much but from what my dad and mom say I'm inferring that it was fun and exciting.



Lastly my favourite costume ever was my Nerd costume. Last year I was a Nerd for Halloween. I believe I had the best costume that year. Me and Len were nerds together. A bunch of people were laughing at it because it was so funny. It came with high checkered pants and a business t-shirt. It also came with nerdy glasses. Trick or treating that year was super fun as well I got to go with my old friend David that used to go to Laurier. There were lots and lots of people trick or treating with us which made it super fun. Overall it was super fun because I got to trick or treat with a bunch of people and I had a fun costume.



In conclusion I've had a bunch of fun and exciting Halloween costumes and I hope to have more. This year my costume is going to be a surprise I think it pretty funny.

Matthew
10/16/2018 05:02:19 pm

You should add more descriptive words, Nathan.

Nathan
10/16/2018 05:29:54 pm

Okay

Nathan
10/16/2018 05:36:47 pm



Halloween is one of the most exciting holidays of the year. My Halloween memories have been wonderful. With Halloween coming soon I thought that writing a paragraph on my top 5 favourite costumes.



First, Harry Potter. One of the most interesting and exciting book series is Harry Potter. If you haven't read the books that's okay but if you haven't read the books nor watched the movie then your living under a rock. I decided to be Harry Potter because I happened to be reading to the books during Halloween. I used to absolutely admire Harry Potter but I don’t like it as much anymore. The costume made you feel like you were in Hogwarts instead of Laurier. Overall I think that my costume was pretty original and fun.



My second favourite costume was my creepy Jester costume. The Jester costume was my first scary Halloween costume. Everyone said it was really cool including the teachers. One thing that I really liked about that costume was that nobody knew who I was until I took off my mask. Its face had a huge creepy smile on it. The diamond patterning was super detailed on the costume. When I went trick or treating I got many compliments. I even scared someone. In the end I thought that that costume was a frightening costume.



In my third spot is my Winnie the pooh costume. I had just turned two that year and my mom had gotten me my costume. When it arrived I was super happy and excited to try it on. It was the second cutest costume I had ever worn. The front said pooh and it came with a jar of honey (fake of course). I don’t remember trick or treating because I was too little but the photos of me were really cute. Overall I think that the Winnie the pooh costume is one of the cutest costumes to wear on Halloween.



In number four I have my cutest costume ever, a cute little monkey. When I was one I was a monkey with my sister. I don’t remember much but the photos of me and my sister were really cute and I loved how simple but magnificent it was. That year I didn’t remember much as well but from what my dad and mom say I'm inferring that it was fun and exciting.



Lastly my favourite costume ever was my Nerd costume. Last year I was a Nerd for Halloween. I believe I had the best costume that year. Me and Len were nerds together. A bunch of people were laughing at it because it was so funny. It came with high checkered pants and a business t-shirt. It also came with nerdy glasses. Trick or treating that year was super fun as well I got to go with my old friend David that used to go to Laurier. There were lots and lots of people trick or treating with us which made it super fun. Overall it was super fun because I got to trick or treat with a bunch of people and I had a fun costume.



In conclusion I've had a bunch of fun and exciting Halloween costumes and I hope to have more. This year my costume is going to be a surprise I think it pretty funny.

V2

Ivan
10/15/2018 09:57:54 pm

Vancouver Canucks


I've always liked hockey ever since I started watching in 2011, I got into hockey because one day my dad was just looking to see what shows were on the tv. He stopped at the sports channel which just happens to be hockey. I didn’t really know much about this sport ,because I was so young ,and didn’t really pay attention to sports that much. Even though I didn’t watch hockey that often it was still very entertaining because I never saw anything like that before ,because I was so used to watching cartoons like "Caillou" and "harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs". The more times I watched it the more I enjoyed. Then one day my sister showed me all the game dates for the rest of the season and was amazed. It was so cool to me ,because it was like I could tell the future and know exactly when to watch it.



By the time 2014 came around I started to watch about 60-70 games a season. Even though the canucks were struggling to make the playoffs I still cheered them on because Vancouver are representing our city. I started to like hockey so much that I began trying to collect things like pins, pencils, etc... ( unfortunately I have lost them all now ) but once I got older I began to look deeper in the Canucks team ,and not just watching the games. I would start to care about who gets traded, young prospects for our team, and look at hockey in a different way. I can't believe how much work hockey players put in just to be able to play in the NHL. Some people practice and train for years but have yet made it to the NHL. That’s something I really like about sports is that if you don't try hard you won't meet your full potential ,but if you try your best ,and practice day after day you will reach unbelievable limits that you though that you can never achieve


Now once it was 2017 I began to watch all 82 games ,even if it was on tv at 4 am in the morning. When I watch hockey it just brings back all the old memories that I had when I was younger. The feeling when your favourite team scores a goal is like hearing the ice cream truck outside of your house. It's just such a great moment that it is so hard to explain. Once I watch hockey it feels like nothing else is on my mind except beating the opponent. My favourite hockey player is by far Brock Boeser ,because there's something that is really satisfying when he does a risk shot ,because it's like a bullet that no one can stop. I also have a Vancouver Canucks cap ,and a Brock Boeser jersey, but I have yet to go to a Vancouver Canucks game yet. This will definitely be on my bucket list ,and hopefully this will happen sometime soon. I really hope that the Canucks do well in the future because thier team this year looks really strong!

Jessica
10/17/2018 12:12:00 pm

Good job Ivan.
I would recommend you to pay a little bit more attention to your capitals, punctuation, and word tenses. Overall you expressed your ideas well your paragraph was very punctual.

Ivan
10/17/2018 06:09:31 pm

REVISED\EDITED VERSION

My favourite NHL team the Vancouver Canucks:




I've always liked hockey ever since I started watching in 2011, I got into hockey because one day my dad was just looking to see what shows there were on the TV. He stopped at the sports channel, which just happens to be hockey. I didn’t really know much about this sport ,because I was so young ,and didn’t really pay attention to sports that much. Even though I didn’t watch hockey that often, it was still very entertaining, because I never saw anything like that before ,because I was so used to watching cartoons like "Caillou" and "harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs". The more times I watched it, the more I enjoyed. Then one day my sister showed me all the game dates for the rest of the season ,and was amazed. It was so cool to me ,because it was like I could tell the future and know exactly when to watch it.







By the time 2014 came around, I started to watch about 60-70 games a season. Even though the Canucks were struggling to make the playoffs, I still cheered them on ,because Vancouver were representing our city. I started to like hockey so much that I began trying to collect things like pins, pencils, etc... ( unfortunately I have lost them all now ) but once I got older I began to look deeper in the Canucks team ,and not just watching the games. I would start to care about who gets traded, young prospects for our team, and look at hockey in a different way. I can't believe how much work hockey players put in just to be able to play in the NHL. Some people practice ,and train for years but have yet made it to the NHL. That’s something I like about sports is that if you don't try you won't meet your full potential ,but if you try your best ,and practice day after day you will reach unbelievable limits that you though that you could never achieve.







Now once it was 2017 I began to watch all 82 games ,even if it was on tv at 4 am in the morning. When I watch hockey it just brings back all the old memories that I had when I was younger. The feeling when your favourite team scores a goal, is like hearing the ice cream truck outside of your house. It's just such a great moment that it is so hard to explain. Once I watch hockey it feels like nothing else is on my mind ,except beating the opponent. My favourite hockey player is by far Brock Boeser ,because there's something that is really satisfying when he does a risk shot. His amazing risk shot is like a bullet that no one can ever stop. I also have a Vancouver Canucks cap ,and a Brock Boeser jersey, but I have yet to go to a Vancouver Canucks game yet. This will definitely be on my bucket list ,and hopefully this will happen sometime soon. I really hope that the Canucks do well in the future because there team is looking really strong this year.

Annabelle
10/15/2018 10:52:51 pm

Ghosts
Ghosts may be from made up stories or from real life stories. I don't care what kind of ghost story, I am really scared of ghosts. The problem is, I don't really know why I am scared of them.



I might just be scared of their weird wispy form with whitish color. I find that super creepy, but I have no reason why. It is like why do people get scared when their friends face turns white. The color white seems to have an effect on people.



I also get really scared when I think about ghost cries. The moaning sounds so eerie it makes me shudder with fear. Just thinking about the many possible ways a ghost could moan and groan is just too scary for me. The cries of sadness, revenge and of course eeriness. It spooks me like a wolf to a mouse, I feel so scared and lonely.



To be honest, I have to say I really hope ghosts aren't real, but at the same time I realize that ghosts may be real. It has not been proven yet but maybe one day. If it gets proven, then I might as well freak out and get many nightmares from it.



Another reason is because I am scared of the dark. When I was younger, I sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night. My palms would start to sweat like rivers flowing. Those times were the worst! I only had two horrible choices, to either keep on sweating or to face my greatest fears and walk to my parent's bedroom. I felt really scared when walking such a short length in the darkness. When I reached the bed where my parents share, I sneak over to my mom and give her a tap on the shoulder. Then I would persuade her to come and sleep with me. My parents even bought two lamps for us to use when we wake up in the night because I was so afraid of the dark. I also read a very scary story book long time ago. It spooked me for many years now and still has. I am glad that I learned a lesson, "Don't read ghost stories or watch ghost movies!".

Annabelle
10/16/2018 07:22:17 pm

Ghosts
Ghosts may be from made up stories or from real life stories. I don't care what kind of ghost story, I am really scared of ghosts. The problem is, I don't really know why I am scared of them.

I might just be scared of their weird wispy form with whitish color. I find that super creepy, but I have no reason why. It is like why do people get scared when their friends face turns white. The color white seems to have an effect on people.

I also get really scared when I think about ghost cries. The moaning sounds so eerie it makes me shudder with fear. Just thinking about the many possible ways a ghost could moan and groan is just too scary for me. The cries of sadness, revenge and of course eeriness. It spooks me like a wolf to a mouse, I feel so scared and lonely.

To be honest, I have to say I really hope ghosts aren't real, but at the same time I realize that ghosts may be real. It has not been proven yet but maybe one day. If it gets proven, then I might as well freak out and get many nightmares from it.

Another reason is because I am scared of the dark. When I was younger, I sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night. My palms would start to sweat like rivers flowing. Those times were the worst! I only had two horrible choices, to either keep on sweating or to face my greatest fears and walk to my parent's bedroom. I felt really scared when walking such a short length in the darkness. When I reached the bed where my parents share, I sneak over to my mom and give her a tap on the shoulder. Then I would persuade her to come and sleep with me. My parents even bought two lamps for us to use when we wake up in the night because I was so afraid of the dark.

My last reason is probably because of a very scary storybook that I read a long time ago. It has spooked me for many years and still does. I am glad that I learned a lesson, "Don't read ghost stories or watch ghost movies!". I really think that I shouldn't be to scared of ghosts but no matter how hard I try, I am still very afraid of ghosts.

Joseph
10/17/2018 11:56:52 am

I really liked your story about why you dislike ghosts. However, try not to start sentences with "I", "it", "my", etc.

Good job overall!

Annabelle
10/17/2018 04:48:07 pm

Ghosts may be from made up stories or from real life stories. I don't care what kind of ghost story 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎, I am 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔. Problem is, I don't really know why I am scared of them.

I might just be scared 𝒃𝒚 their weird wispy forms with whitish color. I find that super creepy, but I have no reason why. It is like why do people get scared when their friends face turns white? The color white seems to have an effect on people.

I also get really scared when I think about ghost cries. The moaning 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒆𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒆. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕. Just thinking about the many possible ways a ghost could moan and groan is just too scary for me. The cries of sadness, revenge and of course eeriness. It spooks me like a wolf to a mouse, I feel so scared and lonely.

To be honest, I have to say I really hope ghosts aren't real, but at the same time I realize that ghosts may be real. It has not been proven yet but maybe one day. If it gets proven, then I might as well freak out and get many nightmares from it.

Another reason is because I am scared of the dark. When I was younger, I sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night. My palms would start to sweat like rivers flowing. Those times were the worst! I only had two horrible choices, to either keep on sweating or to face my greatest fears and walk to my parent's bedroom. I felt really scared when walking such a short length in the darkness. When I reached the bed where my parents share, I sneak over to my mom and give her a tap on the shoulder. Then I would persuade her to come and sleep with me. My parents even bought two lamps for us to use when we wake up in the night because I was so afraid of the dark.

My last reason is probably because of a very scary storybook that I read a long time ago. It has spooked me for many years and still does. I am glad that I learned a lesson, "Don't read ghost stories or watch ghost movies!". I really think that I shouldn't be scared of ghosts. But no matter how hard I try, I am still very afraid of ghosts.

Len
10/15/2018 11:10:53 pm

My Birthday!

This year in 2018 I had my 12th birthday. I was waiting for this moment for super long and I planned a birthday party at Apex Adventure Plex. Apex is a trampoline park loaded with small to big bouncy trampolines. Apex is also located in Richmond near the Ikea. To this birthday party I invited my good friends and we had a blast. Now Let me tell you the story of what we did that day.

At home my parents were getting all the snacks and food ready and I was getting dressed. My parents had bought pizza, chicken wings from Costco and the food from Costco is delicious. My parents were getting the snacks ready and they bought the food when my friends and I were jumping on the trampolines. So, after I got dressed, we went to go pick up my friends. After we arrived at Apex we immediately started jumping on the trampolines. We first went over to the basketball hoops because me and my friends love to play basketball. We had one on ones against each other and it was super fun. After we hung out at the basketball area, we went over to the soccer area. In the soccer area you get into these huge bubble things and play soccer in them. Its super fun because you get to tackle one another, and it really takes away all your breath. When all of us had to catch our breath, we took a five-minute break. Then we got straight back to having more fun. We headed over to the ninja course and it was very challenging but fun at the same time. We basically went to all the activities there, we went to the basketball area, soccer area, ninja course and right after we went to the super trampolines. The super trampolines are the bounciest trampolines there. It takes you up like double the amount of a normal trampoline and it was very fun. After we finished all the activities we went to go eat. We had our very own party room and we could smell the chicken wings and pizza from outside the room. We ate the food and talked about what our favorite activity we did. Many of my friends liked when we played basketball. I also liked the playing basketball, but my favorite part is that I hanged out with my friends and celebrated my 12th birthday with them. I had an awesome experience and I can’t imagine how much fun my 13th birthday will be

-Len

Annabelle
10/16/2018 07:29:12 pm

I really like your paragraphs. Maybe read your writing again and see if you can find a few punctuation errors.

Jessica
10/16/2018 08:30:19 pm

You should add more descriptive words to really help us(as a reader) to really visualize what's is going on. Try look over your grammar again.
Overall, great job Len.

David
10/16/2018 09:22:36 pm

Overall, good job Len.

However, try to organize your writing into neater paragraphs.
Also, try to add a lot of descriptive adjectives.

Len
10/17/2018 08:13:02 pm

My Birthday!

This year in 2018 I had my 12th birthday. I was waiting for this moment for super long and I planned a birthday party at Apex Adventure Plex. Apex is a trampoline park loaded with small to big bouncy trampolines. Apex is also located in Richmond near the IKEA. To this birthday party I invited my good friends and we had a blast. Now Let me tell you the story of what we did that day.

At home my parents were getting all the snacks and food ready and I was getting dressed. My parents had bought pizza, chicken wings from Costco and the food from Costco is delicious. My parents were getting the snacks ready and they bought the food when my friends and I were jumping on the trampolines. So, after I got dressed, we went to go pick up my friends. After we arrived at Apex we immediately started jumping on the trampolines.

We first went over to the basketball hoops because me and my friends love to play basketball. We had one on ones against each other and it was super fun. We dunked on each other and the one on ones were really hard because a lot of my friends are taller than me so they would just block me.

After we hung out at the basketball area, we went over to the soccer area. In the soccer area you get into these huge bubble things and play soccer in them. Its super fun because you get to tackle one another, and it really takes away all your breath. It feels like your a hamster and inside a ball and your fighting other hamsters for a ball of cheese.

When all of us had to catch our breath, we took a five-minute break. Then we got straight back to having more fun. We headed over to the ninja course and it was very challenging but fun at the same time. There were monkey bars, swinging ropes, and nets you had to climb on. Also climbing on all those things hearts your hands a lot.

We basically went to all the activities there, we went to the basketball area, soccer area, ninja course and right after we went to the super trampolines.

The super trampolines are the bounciest trampolines there. It takes you up like double the amount of a normal trampoline and you can do flips easier on them. One of the super trampolines go into this huge air bag and you can dive into it. It literally feels like you're flying.

After we finished all the activities we went to go eat. We had our very own party room and we could smell the chicken wings and pizza from outside the room. We ate the food and talked about what our favorite activity we did. Many of my friends liked when we played basketball. I also liked the playing basketball, but my favorite part is that I hanged out with my friends and celebrated my 12th birthday with them. I had an awesome experience and I can’t imagine how much fun my 13th birthday will be

-Len

taya
10/17/2018 10:11:41 pm

great paragraph! i liked the idea of it but there was a misspelled word so just check that before you post and maybe add a bit more details but other the paragraph was good

Jafeth
10/16/2018 08:12:56 am

camping 2018

I went camping wive my grandpa, grandma, Seth, Larah my dad and me. We first went to Jasper there I learned how to make a fire and we stayed there for 5 days. after we went to a place called mosquito creek. We stayed there for 2 days me and my brother maked a dam all day. We did not do a lot there. then we were going to louise lake for 3 days it was fun but we did not make fire there. Because we where not aloud to on the second day there we went an a gondola it was my first time so for me it was ferry fun when we where there I did a hike wive my dad And Seth. My grandpa , grandma and Larah went to a museum thy sa a lot bears we fond a fossil on the grand Seth fond the fossil thy were the same but there was same ting and
it looked like a leaf. On the last day we did not ting after dad we went to a place I forget the name of it but it was whery nice place it cam wive internet and a hot shower for 1 dollar a five min. after dad went to a place scotch creek and there we stayed for 2 days the first day we went to the lake and we stayed there for a 2 hours then went back to are tent are tent was a tent for 12 people so it was fore me the one of the bigest tent I have been in the last day before I had to go back to Vancouver. This was my best day of camping for me
because we went ziplining wive me my dad and Seth there was 3 lines that we did the first one was a practis the 2 one was in the mounten and ofar a river waterfall the 3 one was langer then all thy ather ones and it went to over a river waterfall. And that was my cammping road trip

-Jafeth

Jessica
10/16/2018 08:32:51 am

My sister and I are big fans of macarons, which have such a unique texture and are palatable. My mom only treated my sister and me a couple of them once as a surprise, and the flavor has lingered in our mind since then. But, macarons are quite pricy, two dollars for a single cookie that is merely five centimeters in diameter. For the first time I heard, my jaw dropped, and I couldn’t believe my ears. And at the same time, I decided that I would make my own macarons at home. One today is worth two tomorrow. No sooner said than done. My sister and I took a rather quick action. To find a favorable recipe and get to know tips and techniques well, we borrowed baking books from the library to read through, watched YouTube videos several times, purchased the needed ingredients at the grocery store, and even practiced our basic baking skills by baking regular cookies. When we were all set, we were itching to have a go. My sister and I anticipated that there would be a huge success. So we pulled up a simple step-by-step Tasty video and began. As a team with tacit understanding towards each other, we carefully and rigidly followed every detail showing in the tutorial video. When all batter were piped onto the cookie sheet and cookies formed and stood in room temperature for 30-40 minutes, we gently put them in the oven with high hopes. However, as they came out of the oven, our eyes popped. The cookies were deflated, nothing like the classic macarons that we had expected. We were so disappointed, but not willing to be defeated by failure.

Instead of giving up, my sister and I agreed to try again. We researched on the science behind the rising of cookies, followed the foolproof method we dug out, and once again, went through the process of making macarons. This time, we didn’t raise our hopes high. We kept eyes on the cookies in the oven with anticipation. As they began to inflate and rise up, we became jittery. As we pulled the baking tray out of the oven, I was relieved and delighted. What lay before me were perfect macarons, smooth and crispy on the top. As I took a bite of the sweet aroma of the macarons, my mouth started to water. I was overjoyed as I realized that I had finally made it. From this experience, I learned so much, not just how to make macarons, but how to regulate the whole process. I was improved by being able to seek and find all the information I needed with composure. What kept me going was the desire to save money and to taste the sweetness of a macaron.

david
10/16/2018 09:30:16 pm

Good job Jessica.

you have a very good intro and ending. :)

jessica
10/16/2018 09:39:22 pm

thank you David.
feedbacks?

Joseph
10/17/2018 12:01:05 pm

Your paragraph made my mouth water too :)

But this is just personal opinion, use the right words at the right time. "the sweet aroma" doesn't really have a good ring in my mouth. "Regulate the whole process" sounds overly complicated, but again, just my opinion.

Overall, great job! :D

Kaden
10/16/2018 08:34:08 am

golfing

I always like golfing because it helps you get better the next time and it also because there are lots of holes but the good thing is that you don't have to argue to anyone. i also like golf because we can go with our family and that we can eat and drink at the court too.

Kaden

Lucas
10/16/2018 05:34:04 pm

I think you need to write more.

Ivan
10/17/2018 05:55:10 pm

my feedback to you is maybe you should write a little bit more and be more descriptive when your writing. try to think of the 5 "W's" when what where why when

Len
10/16/2018 05:48:35 pm

I cant revise and edit mine because no one has looked at it. :(

Mr. Fisher
10/16/2018 06:30:43 pm

H.E.L.P- Len is in need of feedback! Who can help him?

taya
10/16/2018 06:58:24 pm

Have you ever experienced anxiety? I know I have. it's the simply most annoying thing a person could ever experience. Anxiety starts because of a reason, like let's say you were walking down the street with chocolate ice cream. Soft creamy sweet ice cream. The sweet aroma fills the air and just as you were about to cross the street it fell down. Now this usually doesn't cause anxiety. maybe a much more bad experience when you truly feel bad, uncomfortable, scared and sometimes even sad. It's an experience that will be nailed deep inside your head. For me when I solved the problem the bad feeling went away. But then came back, I felt scared there were butterflies in my stomach and I didn't want to talk to anyone. I thought I was sick and came up with crazy conspiracies such as I had cancer or I'm going to die. Eventually I got diagnosed with anxiety. I was kind of dejected at first but then I learned how to deal with it. Sadly though being scared and having butterflies in your stomach aren't the only symptoms you also have a tight throat, trouble sleeping, you can sometimes have shortness of breath, you can have a dry mouth, nausea, dizziness ,and tightness of muscles. And if it isn't annoying and scary enough, anxiety comes with panic attacks and, depends how bad it is, anxiety attacks. Panic attacks are like the miniature anxiety attack. It’s a rush of fear you feel like you can't breathe, the air feels heavy, and your thoughts are going wild, with thoughts like you might die, faint or even go crazy! Anxiety attack is much different you can't really think your just, scared shaking sweating it's so terrifying. I've only had an anxiety attack once before and a panic attacks are daily. Usually panic attacks last for 1 second to 1 hour and anxiety attacks usually last for a moments to 30 minuets. Honestly on my opinion it's just the worst being scared and uncomfortable all the time it's like being sick but worse. Think about it being sick is feeling icky and unwell but mental illnesses are the same thing plus feeling bad mentally. But why are we so unconvertable of being sick why don’t we want it? Maybe it's because of feeling bad or even the pain? Maybe the fear of not being with your friends or staying home alone? the possibilists are endless but perhaps it something much more simple or even more complicated feelings. That's what they all link to scared sad unconvertible feelings. no matter why you don't want to be sick they all link to these feelings. So having to deal with a bigger portion of these feelings every day is just bad and sad. And it costs a lot to improve so not everyone gets the chance. This is why I loathe anxiety so much and all mental illnesses and I hope they stop soon not just for me but for everyone.

Ivan
10/17/2018 06:13:40 pm

Great job Taya!
I really like your hook at the beginning. however my feedback to you is to maybe put this in a paragraph form and add a little bit more detail ,but other then that you did a really good job.

Jessica
10/16/2018 08:30:54 pm

DIV 1!
I AM IN NEED OF FEEDBACK!
THANKS.

jedd
10/17/2018 03:34:08 pm

pls I need feedback to

Vivian
10/17/2018 07:47:04 pm

Art-
Art is one of my favorite things to do, it’s one of my hobbies. I LIKE IT BECAUSE IT’S VERY CLAMING TO DRAW AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY!!!

It’s also something other people do as well. They’re called “Artists” it’s their job to draw/paint. Some get paid to do it, some are just historical pieces from decades ago. Some pieces have a story behind it and it cost millions.

For example, the “Monna Lisa” it was painted in 1797. So that’s a 221 year old painting right there. In 2017 it was estimated to be a total value of US$810million dollars.

Another example is “Girl with balloon” it was painted in 2002. It was sold a auction early this month on October 6th. It was sold for 1.5 million dollars. When it was finally sold, it self-destruct into lines of paper. Turns out it was planned all along, someone has build a paper shredder in the frame. It shredded a beautiful piece of art into pieces of paper. So sad :(


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